Keep mum

Says Mum,
"Keep mum,
never hum
outta turn."
So chum,
don't succumb
to hum.
Keep mum,
avert mayhem.

Kiss of Death

It gave me reason to cheer -
whispered silence into my ears,
wiped off all my tears,
bore away all my fears.
But, they began to disappear
everyone who to me are dear.
Alas, I can see them clear -
tear, fear, DEATH sans cheer.

How to change baby diapers?

1. Put on a gas mask and slip on a pair of surgical gloves before handling the baby
2. Recline the baby on his/her back at an angle of 180 degrees and secure him/her to the changing table. Make sure he/she is comfortable
3. Now, undo the spent diaper
4. Remove it slowly from underneath the baby while maintaining eye contact with him/her
5. Trash the spent diaper
6. Dab the baby’s bottom with scented tissue
7. Slip on a fresh piece of ready-to-wear diapers on the baby and you are done
8. Start breathing again
9. Thoroughly rinse your hands with soap and water

I'm not a father yet nor I've any prior experience in baby-sitting, but I strongly believe that this DIY on changing diapers will definitely prove helpful to nondescript fathers.

Life & Times of Sati

Sati had that peculiar habit of sprawling her puffy lips all over my face once a day. I felt helpless in her manly grip and longed for my mother to intervene and rescue me from imminent asphyxiation. I cried my heart out but Sati only budged once she was through her regimen of marauding through baby meat. My senses defeated me for almost ten minutes after the holocaust and once they returned, I thanked my stars for seeing me through such a gruesome act of unilateral vendetta.

I grew up with Sati. I started liking her eventually, called her 'Daadi (Grandma)' and planted a kiss on her right cheek before I left home everyday for the next seventeen years. She advised me never to kiss loved ones on the left cheek nor leave home without kissing them. She always had her own nebulous reasons to prove her obfuscating hypotheses but I hardly believed her. Whenever I questioned her dubious knowledge she retorted, 'Anpad ka bhi dimag hota hai, munna (Even an illiterate has brains, little fella)'. I left no stone unturned to lambaste her beliefs and lampoon her wisdom; nevertheless, I dutifully complied by her wishes.

Sati had a penchant for cooking and stuffing me with the delicacies she prepared. I grew obese by every passing hour but mother did not seem to mind it at all. My parents were either too modest to point out the shortcomings of immaculate Sati or refrained from doing so out of sheer respect for the old lady, I reckon. (more...)

Her Life at GB Road

She resides at the heart of darkness -
within the confines of blasphemy.
The walls are painted bright
by the color of anticipated larceny.

She creates melody in bed
but doesn't lend her voice
and stares at the moon;
often marvels at its placid poise.

Her son kites alone
with birds and kites: the world.
Panchatantra falls open
untouched, unread, untaught.

Pity her life, her beauty,
everything gathers dust,
while she dutifully yields
to someone's temptation
and devouring lust.

Notes: GB Road, Panchatantra

A letter to Chetan Bhagat

Hello Chetan,

I empathize with you for whatever is happening right now. Just read your tweet that you won't be moving court of law. But I think you should, because according to the agreement between you and the producers dated Sep 1, 2005 it is very much clear that the latter is guilty of breach of contract.

Moreover, film-makers always credit the writer howsoever small his contribution might be. Take for example, Jeeves & Wooster - the screenplay is very much different from the storyline in the book but since most sequences in the drama are based on the book, Wodehouse deserves credit and he is duly given.

Another example is 'Sherlock Holmes' (film) which released last week, directed by Guy Ritchie. Even though, the script does not match with any one of Sir AC Doyle's stories (story credit is Lionel Wigram's), his name appears in the credits, because he is the one who created the characters, sparked the idea etc.

And who can forget Simon Beaufoy's speech at the Oscars.

I'm not the right person to suggest you any course of action, but I'd definitely like to advise you to move the court of law. This action of yours will not only win you back what you rightfully deserve but will also serve as a warning to future (Indian) film-makers not to mess with writers.

Do take care and God bless,

--
Your fan(atic),
Ratan
ratan@deadwoodedition.com


Originally published here. About the controversy.

Natural Beauty

A Happy Family

Razor Edge

Furball

Eating alone

Baby's Day Out








Photographed at Tata Zoological Park.

Rose

Who says God is invisible?! Here He is.

Photographed at XXI Flower Show at Jamshedpur, Jharkhand.